Pimps Players & Private Eyes

The Legend
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The Suspects
Gerry McCann - The Whining Midget
Kate McCann - The Ice Maiden or Skeletor
Robert Murat - The Patsy or Paedo The Arguido
The “Abductor” - The Griffin (mythical, fictitious character)

Evidence
Cuddle Cat - Furry Accessory
Kates Diary - The Hitler Diaries
Gerrys Laptop - Apple Of Death
The Car - Renault McCann
Kates Bible - The Wrath Of God
Scent Of Death - SOD

The Holiday Friends
Jane Tanner - The Illusionist
Russell O’Brien - Doctor Death
Fiona Payne - MILF Friend
David Payne - Lucky Geezer
Rachel Oldfield - Little Miss "Ludicrous"
Matthew Oldfield - The Door Listener
The McCanns & Holiday Friends - Tapas 9
Kate & Gerry McCann - Teflon 2

The Law
Inspector Sousa - Clouseau
PJ - The Keystone Wops (formerly the Lying Squad)
Jose Cunha de Magalhaes e Meneses (the prosecutor) - Bealzebub
Cadavar Sniffer Dogs - Scooby Doo & Scrappy Doo
Police Sources - Heinz or 57 Varieties
Madeleine - Maddie

Team McCann
Justine McGuiness - Comical Ali
David Hughes - Lard Man
Brian Kennedy - Bullet Dodger
Find Madeleine Fund - The Booty

Auntie Phil Section
Auntie Phil - Mark F (as in one size larger than a Marquee…)
Auntie Phil - Tapas 9 Meals
Auntie Phil - Eater of Cream Cakes, Doner Kebabs & flame grilled Whoppers

The Media
Daily Express - The Worlds Greatest Newspaper
The Sun - King Of The Tabloids
Media Overkill - Maddie Fatigue

Locations
Distance Between Tapas Bar & Apartment - The Grassy Knoll
The Apartment - The Book Depository
Rothley - The Hideout
Praia da Luz - Dallas
EasyJet - The Getaway