Cuddle Cats Clean Pair Of Heels

Three days have now passed since the last reliable sighting of Cuddle Cat.

The world's most famous "furry accessory" is now at the centre of a possible abduction probe. Constantly in the media spotlight since May 3rd, and ever present clutched to the bosom of career glarer, the Ice Maiden, it now seems likely that we have seen the last of Cuddle Cat for some time.

Speculation has been rife, and almost frenzied, in the media this week that the freshly bathed, and DNA cleansed fur ball, was wanted for questioning by the Policia Judiciaria in connection with the disappearance of Madeleine McCann. Moriarty asks, have the police now finally taken Cuddle Cat in for questioning? Will Cuddle Cat now be on a witness protection program with a new identity? Or do we need to issue a writ of Habeus Corpus?

More worryingly for serial fund donaters, could it be that Cuddle Cat is the latest victim of the mysterious Griffin, the alleged "abductor" of Madeleine? Could it be that the Griffin is now stalking the McCann family and has set up a lair in Rothley?

I think we should be told.